Susan this is an excellent story, beautifully written. I agree with Mary's advice, and I would encourage you to think about re-writing this story and submitting it to a big publication like The Ascent or Curious. Look at their submission guidelines, so you understand exactly what they're looking for. It's along the lines of:

1. Specific and life-changing experiences (you've got that!)

With:

2. Human drama (you've got that - Mary gives good advice here)

and

3. Universally applicable takeaways - e.g. mindset shifts that can be applied in a variety of situations. (this is where you can make the biggest difference, what lessons did you learn that anyone can apply).

Linking to scientific research can also be a big help, and is essential in some pubs like Mind Cafe.